Logan's Virus
by ronin's love
Summary: Logan, Bobby and a team of young mutants come back from a mission with more than they bargained for. Rogue is tested to the limit.
1. Chapter 1

-1

**The Virus**

by Becky Walker

"Bobby, he said we had forty-eight hours!"

"We do, Carlee. We have forty-eight hours until Logan's dead. He never said we had forty-eight hours with Logan conscious." Bobby looked at the students. They were scared. Hell, _he_ was scared. This routine practice run had been anything but routine and anything but just practice.

"What do we do now?" Carlee asked, her voice shaking. She was Team B's environmental mutant controlling plant life, making it grow hundreds of times faster and stronger than nature alone could.

Bobby looked down at Logan's pale face. His body lay still but for the occasional twitch. "We take him home. We get the doctor working on this. We follow protocol. When someone goes down, we get 'em home."

He ignored the burning of his eyes and the lump in his throat. "Tony, Cash. Get Logan to the jet and be careful. Any more bruises or cuts are not going to help him." Then he turned to Joyce, the team's telepathy mutant. "You got everything recorded?"

"You know it. Let's get this team home and get Logan…better."

Bobby noticed how she hesitated over the word. Logan had been injured before. He'd been in a coma for almost twenty four hours after nearly killing Rogue and had been near dead when they'd brought him home from Liberty Island, but this? This was different. Bobby shuddered. He didn't like the way this was looking.

The team moved quickly through the passage way, where they had so recently been ambushed. Ahead of the others, Tony called back to them, "Which way do we go up here?"

Joyce ran up to the guys and closed her eyes. She pointed. "This way." They took the left fork and were soon in daylight again. The jet was not far from the entrance.

Bobby watched his team settle themselves. Tony buckled Logan in while Cash readied the jet for take-off. Cash had been the team's pilot for over six months but his heart still thrilled when he talked to her, for that was his mutation. He could talk to machines and understand their inner workings. He knew before they broke. He knew just how much he could get out of them and could talk them into giving just that little bit more.

Bobby sat in the copilot's seat and silently thanked Storm for putting such a useful man on his team. Cash caressed the instrument panel. "Come on girl," he said. "You've got to get us home fast. We've got a badly hurt man here and he's friend to us all. Fly like you've never flown before."

In response Inora's engines roared to life and the jet left the ground.

"Buckle up, guys, this is going to be one fast trip."

Then the jet shot forward and they were on their way.

The team was silent on the flight home, but Bobby knew what they would be thinking. Joyce would be replaying the event in her mind, keeping it crisp and clear. Carlee would be thinking of home and how far away it seemed from all this. Tony would be flexing his biceps under his leather uniform and trying to think of nothing at all. Cash meanwhile, radioed ahead to alert the medical team and gave them a rundown of what had happened.

And he? Well he sat beside Cash and tried not to think of how his first mission as team leader had gone. He glanced back at Logan. He looked older than he had before.

Bobby mentally kicked himself. He was supposed to be a Team Leader and he couldn't even run a practice. As his face sank into his hands he choked back tears. Logan was more than a friend, dammit. He'd been like a brother, and now he'd failed him. Failed him big time.

They arrived at the mansion in record time. The medical team was waiting at the landing pad and they rushed on board to put Logan onto the stretcher, hurrying him to the med lab. The rest of the team followed, subdued and worried.

They reached the infirmary just as the doctor was about to start an I.V.

"NO!" they shouted as one.

The doctor jumped back. "What? Why?"

"Joyce, would you show the doctor?" Bobby stepped back and allowed Joyce to move into the center of the room, acknowledging Storm as she walked in the door. Bobby nodded seriously. As leader of the school it was good she was here to see this. Storm nodded at Joyce to continue.

Joyce had, as all mutants do, a unique mutation. She had a videographic memory and could download it to others in the blink of an eye. Time appeared to stand still but it took a mere second for her to put her memories of the last hours into everyone's mind.

3


	2. Chapter 2

-1

Joyce stumbled as Cash pummeled her back. She chased him into the X-jet, laughing. As they buckled themselves in, Storm gave the team last minute instructions.

"Go to the cave. Find the equipment left by the last team and bring it back. Shouldn't be too hard. It should still have a strong signal. I expect you back before supper." She gave them one last look over. "You all look great. A couple more practices like this and you'll be ready for the real thing. Remember, Bobby is in charge. Logan, you are just a back-up. Don't interfere."

"Me, interfere?"

Storm shot a look in his direction and he smiled. "I'll follow orders like I'm supposed to. Don't worry. Bobby's got this team under control."

"The rest of you, good luck." Storm took a step back and the door to the jet slid shut with a whisper.

Logan raised an eyebrow and asked, "When she said, 'the rest of you, good luck', was she purposefully leaving me out of the good luck wish?"

"Logan, you don't need any more luck. You've got enough luck to carry the whole team," laughed Carlee. "But yes, I do believe she purposefully left you out."

Joyce smiled, enjoying the playful banter of her teammates. Training to be an X-man was a dream come true for her. She'd been terrified the school would close with the Professor's death. Ever since her arrival at the school and her introduction to the less publicized side of the Institute, she'd dreamt of the day she, too, would don the black leather uniform of the X-men. When Dr. McCoy announced that Xavier's Institute would remain open she had cheered louder than anyone else. And then to be placed on Bobby's team…one of the six who had stood between order and anarchy at Alcatraz. Well, it was an honor and one for which she was most grateful. She only hoped she would be found worthy of it.

With a roar of its powerful engines, the jet banked and they headed west. The equipment had been left in a cave about an hour's flight due west, so they ran over the game plan again before they relaxed.

"We're almost there. Buckle up. Should be a smooth landing but who wants to take a chance, right?" Joyce tightened her seatbelt as Cash began flipping switches and Inora's engines changed tone.

Joyce tried to relax. Flying, she loved. Landing, well, that was a different story.

The jet shuddered once as she began to settle, then there was a small bump and they were on the ground. Joyce let her breath out in a rush. Weren't X-men supposed to be brave? Did her fear of landing make her weak? Did anyone else notice her white knuckled grip on her armrests?

"Good flying, Cash." Bobby stood and surveyed the team. "Remember what we went over. Stay together. These caves have tons of passage ways and we don't want this to turn into a rescue mission. Joyce goes first. If she doesn't see where we go, she can't remember it. Carlee, you go next. Keep the glowing moss stuff a couple of feet ahead. Cash will go next with the sensor equipment and tell us if we are headed in the right direction. Tony and I will bring up the rear. Does everyone understand?"

When they nodded, he continued. "Logan will follow and try to advance on us. Tony will keep his ears open and his force field up. If Logan touches you, you are dead. You cease using your powers. You follow silently. If there aren't any questions let's get to it."

They jumped to the ground and headed for the entrance to the cave.

Joyce glanced behind her and saw as Logan paused and sniffed the air. His brow furrowed. He seemed to sense something. Frowning, his nostrils flared and he sniffed again. She waited for him to sound an alarm but he only shrugged his shoulders and ran to catch up with the group. Another sniff.

"Smell something, Mr. Logan?" she asked, her curiosity aroused by his strange manner.

"Thought I did but then it was gone. Must have been nothing."

Carlee pulled a wad of glowing moss from her belt and pressed it against the ceiling of the cave. She held it there for a second and then as she lifted her hand, the moss began to grow. It grew quickly and soon covered the ceiling and half of the wall, illuminating the cave like florescent lighting.

Joyce walked ahead. Behind her she heard Cash turn the knobs on the tracking device. "We want to head south. Left."

They walked for about forty minutes, following the quiet instructions of Cash, awash in the light from the glowing moss. Occasionally the snap of Tony's force field would reach their ears as Logan tried to get past the read guard. But so far, he'd made no advance.

Joyce glanced behind and saw the moss dimming, dying away after they passed by.

"Why does it die?" she wondered aloud.

"It doesn't naturally grow here. It's only my power that lets it grow here at all." Carlee was almost whispering. "When I'm far enough away, it just does what it would do naturally. Die."

"Why are you whispering?" asked Tony.

"Just seems like a whispering place."

Joyce agreed. The caves were quiet except for the occasional drip of water. She felt like they were miles underground instead of feet. There was a moment of panic as claustrophobia tried to take her but she took a couple of deep breaths and willed herself to calm down. _Stop being such a scaredy-cat. No one else is freaking out. You want to get kicked off the team? Get your emotions under control, missy. _Her heart rate dropped back to normal and she concentrated on watching where they were going.

"Hey, I think we're coming up to it," said Cash excitedly. "I thought it would be a lot further but it seems to be right through this next cavern. We must have made really good time. We're about two hours ahead…" he stopped. "Did you guys hear that?"

"What?" There were sounds of a scuffle, the sound of Logan's claws extending. A grunt and then silence.

Carlee increased the moss but there was nothing behind them. No Logan, no sign of a struggle, nothing.

"Logan?" Bobby called. "Where are you?"

"Do you think he's playing a joke on us?" asked Carlee.

Joyce's heart began to pound and she felt herself begin to sweat. She swallowed the bile rising in her throat.

"I don't know. Tony, did you see anything?"

There was no answer, nothing except a slight whisper of movement. She turned and Tony was gone.

"Get your backs to the wall!" Bobby's shout brought quick obedience. Joyce looked across the tunnel and saw the whites of Carlee's eyes. She scanned the passage way, up and down and could see nothing. As she turned to look to her left again, she saw a blur of movement in front of Carlee and then she was gone. The tunnel began to grow dim. There was enough light to see when Cash disappeared and then it was black.

Bobby quickly threw up an ice shell around him and Joyce. He reached for her hand and squeezed it gently before she felt invisible arms wrap around her.


	3. Chapter 3

-1

A flash of energy surged through her body and she was in a cavern, filled with man-made light. She was sitting in a small cage, her knees pressing against her chest, no room for movement. She surveyed the rest of the room and saw Bobby suddenly materialize on a cross in front of her. His arms were held straight out, his palms pointing at the crosses next to him, one holding Carlee and the other Tony, whose arms and hands were bound in similar fashion. Cash was to the left of Tony. Logan was restrained with his arms wrapped around Cash and his fists resting against Cash's ribcage.

Joyce looked around. _Don't panic. Just breathe. Damn, it's hard to breathe sittin' like this. Think, think. Maybe this is a test. Maybe the Storm…no, not her style. _She turned her head at the sound of footsteps. A small, thin man in a white lab coat walked through the group, smiling. He carried a black leather briefcase.

"Beautiful. Just beautiful. Look at all of you." He patted Carlee on the cheek. "And you are very pretty," he leered suggestively.

Bobby jerked against his restraints while Logan's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, don't even think about it. Iceman, do you really want to freeze your friends? Force field boy, at this range you are likely to blow their brains out. Neither of you can aim at anyone else." He seemed very pleased with himself. Joyce watched as he continued to taunt his captives. "And Wolverine, now I know you don't want to kill another friend. Especially not the one who can fly you out of here. Oh, yes, I do suppose you will get free. You are very resourceful mutants." He paused to brush his long blonde hair from his face. "As am I. I am a very special transport. It may be somewhat complicated to people such as yourselves, but I find the skill useful. I transport in, grab my prey, and transport them back, to where ever I choose. With you, obviously, I chose to transport you into restraints." He patted Logan on the head. "I'm not so good at the hand to hand fighting like you so I had to find another way. Resourceful, see?"

"What do you want, bub?" growled Logan.

"Good question. I want happiness and world peace, just like everyone. But since that's not likely to happen, I will settle for living the high life. Money, girls, cars… You know the bit. And knocking you off will get me that."

He set the briefcase on the ground and popped it open, removing a vial of cloudy liquid from the foam insert. He readied a syringe and drew the liquid into it, then tapped the air to the top and pushed it out. A thin stream of fluid arced across the floor.

He walked over to Logan.

"No doubt you are all wondering what this is about. I know you will probably get loose, so rather than spill my guts and give you the information you need to hunt me and the person who hired me down, I am going to opt to say nothing. But I will tell you this. I am about to inject your friend with something truly genius. Self healers are some of the hardest mutants to kill. They just keep bouncing back. So I developed a virus which tricks the healer's DNA into thinking damaged tissue is healthy tissue and causes the X-gene to replicate the damaged instead of the healthy. So any wound received, no matter how minor, instead of healing quickly, will quickly turn the healer into a quivering, dead pile of damaged cellular tissue." He began to laugh uncontrollably.

Joyce's blood ran cold. Was this guy for real? Could he really have developed such a heinous weapon? She watched as her friends looked from one to the other, her heart pounding in her chest. She could see Logan straining against his restraints and Cash trying to shrink away from Logan's sheathed claws. Bobby's eyes were cold and followed the laughing man's every move. Tony flexed his fingers and wiggled his wrists uselessly. Carlee caught her eyes and Joyce knew she was trying to convey strength to her. Their captor's laughter grated against her ears.

When he had regained control and could again speak, he wiped his eyes and said, "And, no, I didn't develop this for the express purpose of killing the mighty Wolverine. Mostly just for shits and giggles." And with that he plunged the needle into Logan's thigh.

Logan thrashed against his bonds but the syringe was quickly emptied. "You have about forty-eight hours until Logan is, ah, dead." He began to laugh again. "Oh, this is just too much." He looked at the team, at their shocked and heart-broken faces. "Oh, don't look so dejected." He snapped the briefcase shut and turned to go. "Now with the great Wolverine out of the way, the rest of you can get into some of the action. I'm going to go now. If you are as good as I hear, it shouldn't take you long to figure a way out of this. And I wouldn't suggest you waste your time looking for me. Wolverine here is going to need some medical attention." His laughter echoed through the cavern long after he'd left.

Joyce looked at each of her friends, her team mates. She could see the despair in each of their faces. She looked at Cash, his face white and pinched. Logan was wiggling and working at his restraints, trying to get his fists pointed away from Cash. Tony stared at the ground intently. Bobby tried getting his hands pointed enough away from his friends that he could do something. His desperation to do anything revealed itself clearly in his eyes. Carlee closed her eyes and her face grew intense.

"Carlee, what are you doing?" asked Joyce in a whisper.

She didn't answer but Joyce continued to study her. Something was changing but she couldn't tell what it was. Then suddenly, she saw it. The leather straps that held her were covered in what looked like white dust. It grew whiter and whiter and then began to change colors. Carlee's face began to gleam with sweat. She shook her head as it ran into her eyes.

Soon the whole team was watching her intently. A couple of times she pushed against the restraints, testing them.

Joyce watched, hopefully fascinated as the leather began to break down and rot away. Fifteen long minutes passed before suddenly, Carlee swung from one arm. With the added weight, the other strap broke and she fell in a crumpled heap to the floor.

She lay still for a moment before she pushed herself up, then quickly unbuckled Bobby. They hurriedly released the others.

"Hey, guys. I wouldn't mind stretching my legs a bit, too," Joyce said, thinking _Get me the hell out of this cage before I go fricking nuts._

Bobby looked over the cage. "Guys, we have another problem."

"What's that?" asked Logan, striding over.

"This cage doesn't have a door. It's a welded mesh box."

"Easy enough to get through," and Logan prepared to extend his claws.

"Wait! You won't heal, remember?" Tony grabbed Logan's arm.

"Any other ideas?" Bobby looked around.

"We could just carry her out and deal with it at the mansion," suggested Cash.

"Not my favorite idea, guys. Serious cramping happening here." Joyce tried to shift to a more comfortable position but there simply wasn't any room.

"Slow us down too much, anyway. We've got to get that weasel." With a 'shnck', Logan extended a claw and cut through the cage, scarcely missing Joyce, but missing her just the same.

He retracted his claw and looked at his hand. Blood welled from the narrow cut between his knuckles. It began to congeal, but it wasn't closing. "Huh, guess that stuff worked."

"How do you feel?" asked Joyce, noticing the sweat running off Logan's face and the pallor of his skin.

"Like shit. Do you think…I mean, it can't already…?" Logan looked down at his leg. His eyes widened as he saw something he'd never expected to see. There was a growing spot of blood on his jeans. "Shit." He swiped the back of his hand across his forehead, mingling blood with his sweat. His eyebrows drew down and he shook his head. He stood up, his actions shaky. "Well, let's get the hell out of here. That stupid equipment will just have to wait." He suddenly lurched forward. "Oh, shit. Guys, you aren't going to believe this."

The team looked at him. His eyes rolled back into his head and Cash and Bobby leapt forward to keep him from crashing to the ground.

"Bobby, he said we had forty-eight hours."


	4. Chapter 4

-1

Everyone in the infirmary blinked. A mere second had gone by since Joyce started the memory.

"Shit. What do we do, doctor?" Storm swallowed the lump in her throat and straightened her back. This was bad. This was really bad. Just when she felt like she was getting a handle on being in charge, something like this happened. None of Charles training had prepared her for something like this. Never had any of them expected an attack such as this against Logan.

"I…I don't know. I think we might need to get him to a real hospital. I simply am not equipped to deal with something like this."

"Well then let's make it quick. We don't have much time." Storm started to leave when Bobby stopped her with a touch to her arm. She turned to him, impatient but trying to conceal it.

"There might be something else we can do." He looked around nervously. "Remember Liberty Island? When Logan gave Rouge his powers, he couldn't heal himself. Even opened already healed wounds. Maybe if Rogue were to take his power, this virus wouldn't have anything to work against. At least it should slow it down. It tricks the X-gene. Maybe it doesn't trick a normal immune system."

Storm pursed her lips, thinking quickly. "That is an idea. We still need to get Logan to a hospital though. We have no way of fighting a virus here, not something new. We don't have any of the equipment we need." Storm sighed. Would they ever be prepared for these things? She suddenly felt much older than her thirty-two years gave her right to. "Go tell Rogue to get ready. She can meet me in the garage. Oh, and tell Emily. She needs to know."

"You want _me_ to tell Emily?" She nodded and Bobby took a deep breath. This was one meeting with Logan's pregnant lover she was sure he wasn't looking forward to.


	5. Chapter 5

-1

Bobby found Rogue easily enough. She was sitting in her room studying, as usual. Her med exams were soon and Bobby knew she planned on acing them. It seemed odd to some that she chose a career in medicine. Her reasoning was simple. She longed to help people and doctors needed to wear gloves all the time anyway. It was a good decision and she loved every minute of it. And with the new Mutant Medicine Degree being offered at all major med schools, she could be a true asset to the school, something she didn't always feel like she was. Bobby shook his head. Despite hours of convincing, Rogue still felt like an outsider. He was glad she was pursuing a degree in medicine. He just wished there was still room for him in her life.

Bobby knocked on her door. He nervously ran his fingers through his short hair. Since their breakup over two months ago, he hadn't been in her room. He straightened his uniform and unsuccessfully attempted to dry his hands on his leather pants.

"Come in." Her voice was smooth and sultry, making his heart pound.

Bobby took a deep breath and opened the door.

His breath caught as she lifted her eyes to see who it was. The sun streaming in the window caught the white streaks in her dark hair and they seemed to glow. She was absolutely stunning. He cleared his throat, suddenly aware he'd been staring. "Rogue, we need you downstairs. Logan's been…hurt and we think you can help." Bobby winced inwardly at the way her face lit up at the mention of Logan and at the intense worry at the mention of him being hurt.

"Isn't the doctor down there? I just spoke with him," she asked as she stood from her desk.

"It's not that kind of help. I'll explain as we go. Here," he said, handing her a jacket, "you'll be going out."

Bobby led the way to the garage as he briefed Rogue on the situation.

"This is insane. How long will I have to do this? Not that I mind," she explained, "it's just…well, Logan's not the most fun person's memories to share. I get stuff from him I don't think even he remembers. It's some scary shit, Bobby. Scary, scary shit." Rogue took a deep breath. "Sorry. I will do it. I just think there must be another way."

They reached the garage before she could say anything else. Storm had a car waiting and Bobby grabbed Rogue in a quick hug before she left the elevator. "Take care of yourself," he whispered into her hair.

She broke away, shaking her head slightly. "See you later, Bobby."

Bobby watched them drive away, following the wailing sirens of the ambulance. Now he had to talk to Emily. For a moment, he allowed the weight of the task before him bow his shoulders and drag his spirit to the ground. Then he lifted his head, squared his shoulders. _I am an X-man. I am an X-man._ He continued to repeat it to himself as he rode the elevator to the third floor. Logan and Emily's room was at the end of the hall, giving them a bit of coveted privacy.

He knocked on the door and heard the rustling of movement.

"A moment please," she called.

Bobby looked at his boots. _Muddy. Must have stepped in a puddle I didn't notice _he thought absently. His head snapped up with the opening of the door. He looked into the smiling face of Emily Collins, a fairly new addition to Xavier's. Her cat eyes and retractable claws had earned her the Chinese nickname 'Mao'.

"Back so soon?" Emily smiled, her face radiant. "Please, come in, Bobby. To what do I owe this pleasure?" She motioned for him to sit as she lowered herself into the settee.

"How are you feeling?" Bobby asked, nervously. He could feel sweat beginning to trickle down his back. He shifted uncomfortably in the straight backed chair he'd chosen.

She ran her hand over her swollen abdomen. "I'm feeling fine. Baby's kicking me all the time. Must think he's half wolverine or something." She smiled up at him, "Bobby, you didn't come by to ask me how my pregnancy's going. You're sweating and your leg hasn't stopped jumping since you came in. What's going on?"

Bobby rubbed his jaw wishing someone else had been assigned this job. "Logan…" He opened his mouth and nothing came out. "He…we ran into…" He sighed, took a deep breath and tried again. "Logan has been infected with a virus which will use, is using," he corrected, "his healing ability against him. We have less than forty eight hours." He watched as Emily's tanned face paled to the color of parchment. His stomach clenched, watching the pain cross her face.

"Logan… _what_? How did this happen?" She raised a shaking hand to her throat.

"Some guy jumped us in the cave. He had some power that allowed him to…it's not important. They've taken Logan to the hospital. Storm wants you to come as soon as you can. I'll tell you more on the way."

As she spoke Emily began to fill a bag. "I'll be ready in about five minutes. Have the car ready." She looked up at Bobby who was still standing there. "Go. I'll be in the garage in five minutes. You aren't there, I'll drive my pregnant ass to the hospital myself."

"I'm sorry, Emily. I tried to…I never meant…I am so sorry." Bobby turned and strode out of the room as his grief threatened to consume him. As he closed the door behind him, he heard a single sob, and then the continued sounds of drawers opening and closing.


	6. Chapter 6

-1The hospital smelled of hospital. Of bandages, sterility, and death. Emily shook her head. She mustn't dwell on that. She looked out the window, seeking distraction. The cars in the parking lot looked so tiny. She watched as people scurried to and fro.

_They think what they are doing is so important. So urgent. They are stupid. The only thing that is important is in this room. And he's dying. _

Tears coursed down her cheeks. She saw the room reflected in the window, and watched as Logan's chest rose and fell in regular intervals.

The doctors and researchers knew little more than when he'd been brought in two weeks ago. They knew it wasn't confined to the X-gene. It affected his entire immune system. It wasn't contagious and they had no ideas for a cure. The X-men had been scouring the globe for some trace of the man from the cave but he had disappeared without leaving so much as a single clue as to who he was or who had employed him.

Rogue had been in every other day, draining Logan's powers, hoping to keep him alive long enough to find a cure. Every day, he looked worse. His face was lined where it was once smooth. His hair was grey where it was once dark. The needle prick on his leg was a weeping abscess. His hand was swathed in bandages which were changed regularly. Nothing the doctors had tried had slowed the decay, and daily, it grew worse. More putrid. More dead.

Her Logan. Always strong, always healthy. She'd never seen him with so much as a sniffle and now he lay there on the hospital bed, with no movement save his breathing.

Fear clutched her heart as she looked at him. She turned to the window, hung her head and allowed the sobs to rack her body.

There was a light knock on the door and Emily stood tall and hurriedly wiped her face clean. She cleared her throat. "It's open."

Rogue entered and nodded sadly. Emily saw that in the last two weeks, Rogue had aged, too. Not in face or body, but in spirit and in her eyes. She carried her own memories and her own baggage, but now, Emily suspected she carried more of Logan in her head than she let anyone know.

"How's he doing today?" Rogue ran a gloved hand over his pale one.

"The same. No lucid moments. No anything. Just the breathing and the heart beating. The same as everyday." Emily's voice cracked. She turned away; Rogue's suffering so closely matching her own.

Rogue's hand rested on her shoulder. "He loves you so much. He misses you terribly," she said, her voice trembling. "He's scared for you and your baby. He's trying to get better but he doesn't know how." Tears were running down her face now. "He's fighting through the darkness and the pain, and all he wants is to hold you again and be whole. Most of his thoughts are of you. Only you." She turned and rested her hands on the bed.

Emily cried silently and rested her head against the cool glass. When her sobs had finally subsided, she straightened, resolved to say what had been on her heart since Rogue's first visit.

"I'm so sorry you have to go through this, dear. I am so sorry. I know it's not easy for you." Emily looked into Rogue's eyes. "I know you've had, and maybe still do, it's none of my business, but I know you've had feelings for Logan. I know how hard this must be. But I…we…" she ran her hand over her belly. "We thank you." Emily turned and left the younger woman to her unpleasant task.


	7. Chapter 7

-1

Rogue stood by Logan's bed and gazed on him. He was so old. So hurting. As tears ran down her face, she pulled of a glove. "I'm sorry, Logan," she drawled, her voice cracking. She steeled herself and took his hand. Images and feelings rushed into her mind, tearing at her, seeming to try to dislodge 'Marie' and replace it with 'Logan'.

_Anger. Hurt. Heartbreak. Jean. Claws thrusting into her chest. NOOOOOOO! Holding her as her breath rattled for the last time through her pierced lungs. Her peaceful face as her eyes closed for eternity. Darkness. Trees. Flowering trees. Holding his wife as her blood ran down his arms. Her smile as she slipped into the next world. As petals rained down from above. Agony. Emily, sweet Emily. Hunger. Love. Family. Must protect Emily. Fight for her. Boundless love. Stryker. Fear. The red haze of rage. The agony of boiling hot adamantium covering his bones. Screaming. Madness. Rose. Standing at the alter, giving her away to another man while his heart ached with love. Her weight on his hands. Staring at the claws protruding from her back. God, not Rose. Anyone but Rose. Love. Pain. Mother. Father. Betrayal. Murder. Adultery. Suicide. Emily. Her touch. Her kisses. The feel of her cool hands rubbing his shoulders._

_Emily. Where is Emily? Why isn't she here beside me? Why am I so weak? What is this in me? Rogue, what are you doing here? What is this that seeks my life? Must fight…for Emily…for unborn child. Child of mine. Mine. Emily. Emily._

Rogue staggered back. She fell to the floor and her body spasmed as she vomited. She retched again and again, until her breath caught in her throat. Then, resting her head in her arms, she sobbed. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block the images, the pain. Tears continued to course down her cheeks as she cried herself out.

Finally, so weakened she could weep no more, she reached for the call button. The room went black.

The squeak of shoes beside her head alerted Rogue to the nurse's presence. The matronly woman helped her off the floor and into a chair, carefully avoiding her bare arm. Rogue noted her name tag read "Mandy".

"How much longer you gonna keep doing this, honey?" Mandy asked. "It's killin' you."

"And if I quit, it kills him." Rogue looked up at Logan. His face was drawn and etched from her drain of him. "And if I keep doing it, it'll kill him too." She shook her head tiredly and dropped it into her hands.

The nurse went and got her a plastic cup of water. "Get some rest. I'll get this cleaned up."

Rogue sipped the water and then staggered to her feet and collapsed into the sofa. Her eyes closed and she slept, tortured by Logan's memories.

The same nurse had just finished cleaning Logan's wounds when Rogue came in ten days later. Her two-toned hair was limp. Her eyes were sunken and dark, her cheeks pinched. She looked around blankly, trying to remember where she was and what she was doing. Why wasn't she at the mansion studying? Why did her eyes burn as though she hadn't slept in weeks?

"Rogue? Rogue!" It took a moment for her name to reach her ears. She turned her head slowly and looked at the nurse. "Rogue, I want you to stop this. It's going to kill you."

Rogue blinked, suddenly remembering where she was and what she had to do. Her eyes stung and she wondered that she still had tears left to cry. "It's killing him, Mandy. The virus. It eats at him. He's fighting it. Fighting it with everything he has. But it's not enough. He can't beat it. And if I stop, it kills him today. Maybe tomorrow he can beat it. I have to give him tomorrow." Rogue stood by his bed, dejected and alone.

"Marie, you can't save him."

"I have to try. He wouldn't do any less. Now go." She felt Mandy hesitate. "I said go. I need to be alone for this."

The nurse shook her head, gathered her supplies and closed the door behind her.

Rogue sighed and took off her glove, reaching for Logan's hand. He grabbed her wrist, covered by her long sleeve. She looked at his face and his hazel eyes glared back at her, seeming more animal than human.

"No more," he rasped. "No more. Don't…do this…I don't want…you hurt," his eyes softened into the eyes she knew and loved. "…please…no more." His grip loosened and his eyes closed. He sank back into the pillow.

Rogue began to shake. She pressed the call button as the room began to spin and the edges of her vision began to darken…

She awoke to her friends gathered around her. Storm was holding her gloved hand. Bobby caressed her cheek, her hair protecting him from her bare skin. Carlee had a hand on her knee. Their faces were worried, their manner solemn. Storm was the first to speak.

"You okay?" she asked softly.

"I don't know." Rogue sat up slowly. The room spun for a bit and then settled down. She tried to remember what happened. Logan's words came to her in a rush. She gasped and her heart began to race. "I can't…he asked me not to…I can't do this anymore." She bit her lip and choked back tears. "I just can't."

"Yes you can. You are strong. You can do this," Storm reassured her.

Rogue jumped to the floor, her friends jerking back in surprise. Her face felt hot and her head swam. "No, I can't. You don't know what it's like. What it's like to be in there. What he's been through. How he much he's had, how much he's lost."

Carlee spoke up. "I've read his mind. It's not that bad, Rogue."

"YOU DON'T KNOW!" she yelled, her control snapping. "You read the surface. The stuff he knows is there or almost knows is there. You don't take him into you. You can't understand. I don't see his memories, I _live_ them. I hold Jean. I feel _my_ claws punch through her chest. I feel her last breath. I hold my wife as her blood runs down my arms, soaking into my clothes." Her words rushed out. "I watch as my mother's lover murders my father, and I watch her pick up the god damn pistol and blow her brains across the fucking wall!" Rogue's face was twisted with grief as she remembered. She looked from left to right at her friends. She couldn't see them for the tears, but she knew they were there.

"I love Emily when I touch Logan. I feel her touch my skin," her hand trailed down her cheek, "and I thrill at it and there's this big empty hole in me," she thumped her chest, "because she's far away and I am stuck in this hospital, in this broken body which has never failed me before now. I…I can't…I won't do it again. He doesn't want this. It's tearing him up. I can't do it. I am sorry. There has to be another way."

Her tears fell to the floor as she cried. The group stood silent as she sobbed. She leaned against the bed and Bobby caught her as she collapsed, picking her up and gently laying her on the bed. He stroked her face and kissed her hair. "We won't make you do it again." He looked to the others. They nodded assent.

He touched her hair once more and turned away.


	8. Chapter 8

-1

They walked out of the room and conferred in the hallway.

"What now?" Storm asked, her mind racing for a solution to save this man they had all grown to love, despite his rough exterior.

"I don't know, Storm. I just don't know." Bobby hung his head, the guilt he placed on himself evident in his posture. No one noticed Emily had joined the group until she spoke.

"What's going on?" she asked quietly. "How's Logan?"

"Rogue's done. She can't do this anymore. It's killing her and it's not doing Logan a lot of good." Storm watched as Emily's face hardened. She had known this wouldn't be easy but she had the other X-men to think of and Rogue had done too much already.

"It's keeping him alive. That's a lot of good in my book." She looked at the defeated faces in front of her. "My god, you've given up on him! You're just going to let him die!"

"What would you have us do, Emily?" Storm felt herself growing angry. "None of us are magicians. We are just mutants. We can only do what we can do. Not a one of us can pull an anti-viral out of our asses," she snapped. How could Emily not see they were doing all they could?

"There's another way. There's another way to keep his powers from killing him." The others looked at her blankly, but Storm glared, shaking her head. "Don't try to tell me you haven't thought of it. It will give him a chance to get over this. It will give him a chance at life again." She looked around the small group. "He's Logan! If we just buy him enough time, he'll beat this."

"You can't honestly want to do that him?" Storm was incredulous. She'd never known Emily to be irrational. She was pregnant and all but this? Surely the woman must be unwell.

"Oh course I don't want to. What I want if for Dr. Yokomo to come running up with a syringe full of miracle but I don't see that happening." Her eyes snapped with anger as she looked at each member of the group. "This is the only other way. Besides, it's only temporary. Rogue got her powers back."

"There's no guarantee they'll return. Somewhere between fifty and seventy-five don't return or don't return the same." Storm sighed. The statistics on the return of powers was sketchy at best.

Bobby looked at Storm and then Emily. "You aren't talking about giving Logan the cure are you?" Emily's eyes dropped to the ground. "You've got to be kidding me. No way. No way are we giving Logan the cure. That's like murder. We would be murdering part, a large part of who Logan is. No way."

"Not your decision, Bobby."

"Not yours either, Emily," Storm interjected. "I don't think mother of child is a legally recognized title." She glared at the pregnant woman, astonished at her audacity.

"No, but having power of attorney is." Storm's face paled at Emily's words and she felt as though she might be sick. "When we found out I was pregnant, Logan gave me full power of attorney, just in case. He wanted to make sure the baby was taken care of no matter what. It's my decision and the decision has been made." At that she turned and strode to the nurses station.

"We can't let this happen. Logan would not want this. No way." Carlee stared at her friends and teammates in shock. Storm shook her head silently. Bobby was right. It would be like murder.


	9. Chapter 9

-1

Emily entered the darkened room. Her heart was made up. Their son deserved the chance to have a father. Her head wasn't made up. It fired questions at her constantly. Did she have the right to take Logan's mutation from him? Would he ever forgive her? Would it work? Whether it worked or not, would the X-men be able to forgive her? Could she forgive herself?

She sat on the edge of the bed, her head whirling with doubts and took his hand into her own. It was cold so she rubbed it between her hands, wincing as the skin split, spilling blood down his arm. Her stomach lurched at the sight of his blood. She laid his bleeding hand down and reached for the call button to summon the team that would administer the cure. But a movement from Logan stopped her. He grabbed for her arm, missed and his hand fell to his side, blood splashing to the floor.

Emily jumped and looked into his eyes. She saw he was lucid. Her heart leapt at seeing his beautiful eyes again. She smiled at him but her smile faded as he spoke.

"Don't give me the cure. I am who I am. If it kills me, it kills me." Emily started to object but Logan hushed her. "I can't be someone I'm not. I'm sorry. So sorry." Tears filled his eyes and as they fluttered closed, he whispered, "I'll always love you, but I want you to go. You don't need to be here. Remember me as I was. I love you, always."

She stood, sobs racking her body. She had never felt so helpless or so alone. She laid her hand on his chest. "I love you, too, Logan. I will take good care of our son. I will do the best to raise him so you'd approve." She choked back tears. "Good-bye, my love," and she turned and walked out of the room. She stopped at the nurse's station and told them to cancel the cure.

She called the mansion for a car.


	10. Chapter 10

-1

It was a beautiful day; too beautiful for a burial. Logan's friends, his family, gathered around the marker. Logan's adamantium skeleton was laid to rest beside Jean Grey, Scott Summer, and Charles Xavier, in death, taking a place of honor. The crowd was silent as Storm spoke over yet another fallen teammate. Her voice shook but she made it through without breaking down, surprising herself. She didn't know how many more losses she could take.

Emily's hands moved over her stomach constantly, remembering his hands, his face, and his kiss. Tears ran down her cheeks. She let them fall. Let them fall for their son who would never meet his extraordinary father. She let them fall for herself. For the love that was so briefly shared between them. She let them fall for the school. For yet another loss they'd suffered. And she cried for Rogue.

Rogue didn't attend the memorial. She sat in her room, furiously writing; writing to still the terrible wrenching of her heart; writing, in the hope that putting his memories on paper might get them out of her head; writing least Logan's memories, like he, be lost forever.

The End

22


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